As of Now

So currently I have 2 weeks off work. It's October 2024 and my surgery is booked for the 21st of May 2025. Only 7 months away! Here is what my plan is:

I have been losing weight now for several months with support from my lovely doctor. I started off at 107 kilos and am currently 84 kilos. I'm very excited about my weight loss. I saw this week on the Destination Beauty page that there is an 8 week weight loss challenge starting on the 16th of this month so I signed up! I am ready to sort myself out. My overall plan is to keep losing until I get to my goal weight which is around 75 kilos. I have used diet shakes for many years, for the convenience but also because I actually like the taste. But I do want to learn more about healthy habits, eating and exercise wise so am excited that I will do this challenge. I will try and do another if available before my actual surgery. 

Long term I plan on seeing a dietician and learning about what is called intuitive eating. A friend told me about it and it sounds fabulous as it takes the stigma away from what are considered good foods and bad foods. She had bulimia for many years and that is now under control. What I took from her explanation ( a basic understanding at this stage) was that when we don't label foods as good or bad, with learning, it takes away the urgency of eating them. For example, I would say to myself that I'll have just a little bit of chocolate, then I'll have more because tomorrow I'll be dieting and won't be able to have it, then I'll eat more because the thought of that is depressing, then I'll have more because I'm punishing myself for eating so much, then I'll just finish it off so that it's not there tomorrow and I haven't left enough for anybody else anyway. Plus they'd ask where it all went! MY OWN WORST ENEMY!

With intuitive eating I might say that I want a little bit of chocolate and I have that little bit of chocolate and I don't have the urge to eat any more for the above reasons because if I really do want it then I can just have it whenever I want to. So the urgency isn't there, nor the shame, nor the secrecy. It's just food. I know that's a simplistic way of explaining it but that's how I learn. And I'm excited to understand it more and to live that way. Because I keep saying I won't go back to being big and miserable but I keep ending up there! And dieting (for me at least) is clearly not working long term. Maintenance is awful!